I don’t want hot sauce, I want a sauce with a great personality
this kid behind me in history was like “my neck hurts so bad” and I said “do you want me to snap it for you?” and my teacher yelled at me
i want a shirt that says “eat or die” because at first it sounds rebellious but its just a reminder
DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.
"you’re so full of yourself" no i had a lot of insecurites and a low self esteem which i worked extremely hard to overcome and now i realize that im awesome and i dont care if you think otherwise
i remember one time the simpsons made a joke about fox news and they got so insulted they tried to sue them but the court was like “this aired on ur network u can’t sue urself”
[writes paper] this doesnt make any sense [prints it] [doesn’t proofread] [hands it in for a grade]